Boy Toys

1. Boys play laser tag. Men play with Shocking Laser Guns (US $38). The difference is subtle, but important. When you get hit in laser tag, your chest plate blinks and makes a noise. Play with Shocking Laser Guns, on the other hand, and a direct hit to your chest plate means you get zapped by a few (relatively harmless) volts through the butt of your gun. Despite a less-than-clever name, Shocking Laser games have a home- and office-friendly five-metre range, and offer the most fun you can possibly have while being electrocuted. (firebox.com)

2. Who’s afraid of the dark?
It is a man’s business to protect what’s his. But how does he maximize his protective skills if he can’t see in the dark? Easy — he gets himself a pair of ATN Night Scout Night Vision Binoculars. Sure, the US $649 price tag isn’t necessarily wallet-friendly, but with five-times magnification, digital controls and the ability to see up to 150 metres in the pitch dark, you
can hardly afford not to own these bad boys. (atncorp.com)

3. Turn up the suck
For years, women have tried to figure out a way to make men clean the house. Dyson has the answer: create a kick-ass vacuum cleaner that looks like a spare part from the USS Enterprise, then give it a macho name like the “Animal.” Technically, the Dyson DC25 Animal (US $550) is named for its ability to deal with pet hair in tight spaces, but don’t be fooled — this thing can suck the moustache off the Marlboro Man. Bonus tough points for its mannishly trademarked “Ball” and “Root Cyclone” technology, motorized brush bar and “quick-draw” telescopic reach wand. (dyson.com) 

4. Das Brute
Manly typing means punching the keys with vigour and determination. The Das Keyboard ($170) was built for men who require audio and tactile reinforcement. Das boasts German engineering, gold plating and blue LEDs. And not since the Apple Extended Keyboard II in the early ’90s has a keyboard been constructed with individual mechanical switches for every key. The result is a satisfyingly loud clicking sound. For the cocky touch-typist, the Ultimate version comes with blank keys. The Professional version has clearly labelled keys for the rest of us. (daskeyboard.com)

5. Feel the Rush
Since a real man doesn’t just want to see and hear his home theatre, he needs the ButtKicker BKA 300 transducer (US $400) to heighten the experience with low-frequency audio signals “in the feeling range.” The Wireless ButtKicker (I’m not kidding; that’s what it’s called) hooks up to your seat and syncs with the bass in your audio setup in order to vibrate your fillings loose during big action sequences. Augment your new couch shaker with every movie directed by Michael Bay. (thebuttkicker.com)